The Musings of GWB.

This morning in my English class, we continued our “Grammar Rodeo” and discussed the musings of former President George W. Bush. I had always assumed that there was someone who wrote the speeches for politicians, but I guess it is still up to the actual politico to deliver it. We spent the class parsing different, and increasingly ridiculous, sections of the former Presidents various speeches given while he was in office.

Here are some of his better, or as GWB would say, “more better”, Bushisms:

“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” -Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001 (Here the former president decided to use the wrong feminine pronoun, using the objective when the subjective “she” would have been more appropriate. Obviously. The irony is what really puts this one over the top.)

“I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.” –presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004 (Ahh, more wise words. I see what he was attempting to do here, and although intentions are sometimes difficult and maybe impossible to interpret, I am sure he only had the best ones in mind. Regardless of intent, Internet is not a word that needs an “s” to indicate its plurality.)

“Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.” –LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 (I believe the proper cliché is “dreams take wing.” But props for effort. There is a name for the grammatical error here, but it alludes me. The important thing is that it exists, and — for any native English speaker — it should be painfully obvious. Not to mention, “Families is.” Really?)

“I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right.” –Rome, Italy, July 22, 2001 (Here he has engaged in redundancy and some doublespeak… A popular technique for politicians. They can still fill the air with words but don’t really end up saying anything. As evidenced here.)

“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” –Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000 (Rarer still: Is former President Bush literate?)

“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” –Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 (This is an instance of a misplaced modifier. The sentence in its current state implies that OB-GYNs want to practice their love with women, when I am assuming GWB wished to imply that OB-GYNs are unable to practice their love for their craft on women.)

To conclude this brief list of unmistakable grammatically incorrect bushisms, I will leave you with this lengthy, and not entirely grammatically faulty but still amusing, quote from the former President:

“I wish you’d have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it…I’m sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn’t yet…I don’t want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I’m confident I have. I just haven’t — you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I’m not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one.” –after being asked to name the biggest mistake he had made, Washington, D.C., April 3, 2004 (What is shocking to me is that he was re-elected after this. For real America?)

Until next time. sarah.

(It has occurred to me that some people may find these offensive… It then occurred to me that anyone who finds this offensive should remember that this man had access to thermonuclear weapons. They should spend more energy worrying about his former access to weapons of mass destruction and less energy worrying about his feelings.)

“The 50 Dumbest Bush Quotes of All Time”, politicalhumor.about.comWebOctober 25 2012.

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